good morning world!

except i take it back- this is not a janice wakes up with cheer and sings everyone the good morning song morning- this is a janice wakes up grumpy and groggy and stumbles into the bathroom to pee  and then immediately stumbles back to bed.  except i caaaan’t because the sleep study people say i have to stay awake.  PAH!

in the beginning….

so i fall asleep everywhere.  not like the narcoleptic acrobat in moulin rouge, but if i’m sitting around not doing anything or otherwise unstimulated by either interest, conversation or movement, gone.  my teacher in high school and i had a deal where he was allowed to throw things (soft things!) at me when (not if) i fell asleep in his class.   my other teacher, who is less inclined to throw things (or at least not soft things, so i wasn’t going to give her the throwing option.. helllz no mang) just wrote home to my parents, which i have to admit i sneakily opened up the sealed note so i could read it before it got sent home- said things like i’m never awake in class, am always daydreaming, big fat fail, watever.  whoo!  anyway-  then comes college!  where all my chemistry notes went something like… “stronger acids, which dissociate to a greater extent, have larger values of Ka, wilt tesxre dfs fafdafao~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~…. insert expert from Brad’s notes. ”  (for some reason, i wouldn’t stop taking notes when i nod off- i’d keep writing things, except it’d just be these decreasingly enthusiastic squiggles.  wat a waste of paper).  then came all this unpleasant business in med school- while i could get away with sleeping in class by podcasting the stuff afterwards (and falling asleep during the podcasts… whoo!) or knitting and playing pacman so at least my face looks like it might be paying attention, there are only so many lies you can tell your patients when they catch your eyes closing during their interviews… and it’s sort of hard to bring either pacman or knitting to AM grand rounds.  then there was that business with falling asleep in the car while driving….yeah.

so! sleep study!  i’d just finished doing the first part of it, which is when they monitor you while you sleep for a night.  i got here at about 730, and after letting me get settled in they attached all these electrodes to my face.  i think there’s a row of them down my head, and a few to the left and right- headband style, and a couple outlining where my beard would be if i were able/inclined to grow a beard, one behind each ear and next to each eye… i think that’s it.  then!  i had these three belt thingys- one across my chest, belly, and then lower abdomen.  the tech said it was to monitor my breathing and all the associated movement that goes with breathing.  and then there were things attached to my legs to see if i kick around a lot in my sleep.  AND all these things are wired to this big fat box which i have to carry around.  i think that’s all the monitors- i probably missed a couple here and there- is like lice where you think you got them all when you try to manually remove them yourself but you always miss a few.  probably.  i don’t know- i’ve never had lice, but i’m feeling very licey at the moment.   anyway- the first half is supposed to be just me sleeping and them watching my brain waves and seeing if i stop breathing or kick around a lot.  worst sleep ever!  like the dog that circles three times before settling down to sleep, i have to rearrange my pillow and toss and turn and roll around (and do the hokey pokey…somethingsomething…) before i’ve come up with the optimum distribution of my weight and limbs.  but it’s hard to do all that when you’ve got wires all over your face and stuck to your head and o!  i forgot!  there are also wires in my NOSE- not one, but two sets- the first is just this skinny wire business that’s suppose to tell them if i’m breathing, and the  other was a big tubey thing like an oxygen nasal cannula, except i’m pretty sure i wasn’t attached to the oxygen so i don’t know what that was for.  anyway. yes!  tubes and wires up the wazoo.  reena said it’d be ironic if i came in for my sleep study and then couldn’t sleep during the study… thanks for jinxing it, shcmeens.  >.<  i think they got enough sleeping waves for an evaluation though so that’s fine.   now i’m waiting for the hospital food to arrive (there are some days when i’m almost post call or just didn’t have time for breakfast when the patients food looks suuuuper good… we’ll see in an hour if its just hunger goggles or if hospital food is … o wait just kidding- the tech just walked in and asked what sort of cereal i’d like.  i guess hospital cheerios are the same as grocery store cheerios.  o well- an adventure for another day!  so after breakfast i’m supposed to do a nap study- they’ll give me 3 tries to take 3 20 minute naps, and i guess based on how fast i fall asleep/how fast i go into REM sleep/if i dream or not, they’ll be able to tell if i’m narcoleptic or sleep deprived or a crazy etc etc.  my bets are:

1) idiopathic hypersomnia
2) chronic sleep deprivation
3) narcolepsy
4) central sleep apnea


cereal time!