i was walking from my house to prior library for my meeting for my global health elective.  i figured i’d also deliver my pack of thank you cards from my last interview along the way.  by the way, i hate writing thank you cards.  not because i do not wish to convey thanks when it is deserved, but by now all my cards sound the same, even though i try really hard to personalize each one.   there are only so many ways to say hey thanks for meeting with me i like your program have a nice day.  and even if i liked it the most i’ve ever liked any program, you can’t just say it that way, and as kim says, it’s tough to convey sincerity in a paper card with colorful circles and flowers on it that say Thanks A Million!  with a rhinestone for the dot of the exclamation point. (and it’s even harder if i did NOT like their program…)  AND i hate having saved up a super cute card, and after getting all excited about sending the cute card to the program i liked (cute cards go to programs i like, nice but more generic ones to the wah-wah- programs), i write up most of my very sincere and well thought-out message only to botch up the spelling of the person at the very very end.

anyway- i’m walking down the street to deliver de letter (de sooner de better…) and i’m also talking to aman on my headset and drinking a carton of chocolate soymilk.  it’s about a four block walk to the library.  i finish my soymilk about halfway there, and at this point i think how glad i am to have a bluetooth for my phone so i have enough hands to hold everything.  i still get a ton of looks from people when i use it in public, especially if say, the line of conversation calls for an expletive or perhaps an emphatic “wench!” accompanied by a hearty shake of the fist.  but whatever- it’s worth being able to catch up on such meaningful conversation with people while running errands.  so i get to the mailbox, drop off my parcel and proceed to walk towards my meeting.

however, after taking a couple steps, i realize that something is off but i wasn’t quite sure what yet.  so i keep talking to aman, and from his end the conversation probably sounded something like…

aman: yeah!  puerto rico sounds awesome!  i really want to go!
janice: iii know!  it’s going to be fantastic!  kk, i’m almost at my meeting, i’m going to call my mom later today to talk about spring break and…………….
aman: …. hallo?  are you the…
janice: o shit.
aman: …re?  huh?
janice:  o shit o shit.  i mean crap.  o… poooh.
aman: what did you do!  …. what.  did you do.
janice: um…. i thought i dropped off my letter in the mailbox.  but it’s still in my hand.
aman: and?
janice: um.  well.  my soymilk carton is not.
aman: … BWAHAHAHAHA
janice: >.<

meanwhile, i’m trying to explain this to aman while not talking so loudly because there are a ton of people around me still, most of whom will probably just judge the silly girl who posted off her empty soymilk carton.  with my luck though, one of them is bound to be an ex-mailman or a mailman off-duty, in which case judgement will become hostility, and i couldn’t be late for this meeting.   so then, true to the letters if not the meaning of my nickname, i scuttled off as quickly as i could and fled the scene of the crime.

 

Dear Mr. Postman

I greatly apologize for leaving trash in the mailbox, and I am very sorry for any inconvenience or unsightly brown stains that might have resulted from my actions.  I can assure you that this is not a regular misdemeanor on my part, and I will do everything in my power to prevent such an unfortunate event from transpiring again.

However, I would like to take this opportunity to preemptively apologize for all future mishaps of this sort, given that I really love my blue-tooth for all that it’s over-sized and ridiculous and makes people stare,  and I am unlikely to give it up in my near future.  Therefore, as I am less attentive than usual while using it (though efficient enough otherwise to make it worthwhile!), I cannot guarantee that the chances of such an occurrence recurring are absolutely impossible.  Or, perhaps, even unlikely.  But I can assure you that they will probably be infrequent most of the time.  Again I apologize, and I wish you much felicity and hope that perhaps someone will accidentally leave you a freshly baked, hermetically-sealed piece of pie today instead of an empty chocolate silk carton.

Sincerely,

Me

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